Art in Vienna:


Club H.Ø.D. Calendar - May
November 5, 2015


Hedy Hipp-Hepburn

May! May! May the whores be with you, young practican!

Hedy Hipp-Hepburn represents May, the merry month of delight. As she jumps between petticoat and Dirndl - Hedy, the classic kind of girl: native-naive and plain-spoken, rural though cosmopolitan - she brings the flair of deep down Bavaria into the wide world, especially in May.

 The days are getting longer and the skirts are getting shorter. Time to relax on the countryside and to stock up on some sunshine as the hearts start to long for summer, as if May was the first sip of a delicious cocktail. Moreover this beautiful month starts with a public holiday, the 1st of May, Labor Day. It's time for all underpaid trainees and workwomen to go on the streets and protest for better work-conditions, or to go on the streets and work, like the whores do... Or you use that free day to go on a little vacation, just as Hedy does every year, when she puts on her Dirndl and travels to the countryside. How wonderful it is to dance on the medows, singing to the music of the radio, drinking milk you milked yourself as the independent woman you are! That feels like home, that feels like Bavaria, yes, Bavaria, where the mountains grow directly out of the ground and the trees are made of wood. Bavaria, the home of Hedy Hipp-Hepburn and the best scenery for May one could find! So it is quite a simple choice: life, death or Bavaria!

Club H.Ø.D. Calendar 2016 May Photo: Julia Fuchs Grafik: Bernd Eischeid

Club H.Ø.D. Calendar 2016 May Photo: Julia Fuchs. Grafics: Bernd Eischeid

As traditional costumes are getting more and more fashionable, we find Hedy in a daily Dirndl colored in blue and white, the colors of her home, with little flowers or penises printed on it, one couldn't say exactly. Since old days the dirndl was not only a beautiful dress, but a practical working outfit, for hard working women. What could be more suitable for the 1st of May? Even more the dirndl conceals every gram of adipose, so that even the fattest farmer girl looks sexy and hot! With flowers in her hair and a milk churn full of fresh milk Hedy stands for life and freshness or if you have a dirty mind for rural sex and overflowing manhood. The last words here are reserved for Hedy herself...

„Now I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time. Have a nice May, stay classic-cool and pfundig!“ (edit. - Old Bavarian: joyful)